Friday, 3 June 2011

A full cycle

We often hear that life is a cycle and before we die the cycle has to be the short run many things happen in our lives where we left something incomplete and it comes back to us in some form.

The only person whom i thought i truly hate reappeared today after 2 years but then i realised that i don't hate her anymore! I don't even care anymore! This got me to think about how people talk about a cycle but how things actually change meanwhile. With time we grow, learn to accept, forgive and forget...ultimately by the time we reach the end of the cycle, we come across the same things that we encountered when we started but the aim is definitely not to refresh memories or feelings but simple to make us see how we have changed and evolved since.

The feeling of not caring anymore about something that made my life hell is incredible. Being able to face someone against whom you once had grudges and have no negative feelings at all makes you feel good about yourself.

Taking oneself for granted

Since the day we are born there is a path that is already traced for us and we grow up following it. Things seem to come naturally one after the other and we hardly ever bother to stop and think. I always imagined my graduation as being an important moment for me but as it started coming closer i realised that everyone around me has already put one foot on the next step..masters! I tried hard not to compare myself to them, to stand firm on my decision but there have been moments when i failed to do so and i actually freaked out!

By this whole thing made me realise how while trying to follow a certain path blindly we end up missing out of other important things! We often tell others that they take us from granted but thats somehow what we also do to ourselves! We focus so much on external things that we end up denying ourselves of the credit and imporance that we deserve. Is it fair on ourselves if after working hard for three years for a degree we say that its just a degree? Is it fair on me that i feel useless today despite all the hard work that i have put in? Of course not!! We cannot deny that we need to have ambitions and goals, we need to work towards them but do we really need to be that strict on ourselves?

Give yourself your due, stop taking yourself for granted and the steps will still come one after the other :)

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

Its just a question of perception

Spent past 3yrs years feeling bad abt things i missed out...things that cudve been but finally i realised if i didnt cme here i wudve missed out on smthing more important :) I wouldn't go to the extent of saying that i love Delhi but now when i think back about how much this place gave me...well i could say that its not that bad finally! 

We spend so much time thinking about what life could've been that we end up missing out on the present! It does sound lame at times to say that i accept things the way they are...sounds very laid back but at times sitting back and appreciating what has already been decided for you is the right thing to do. But just stagnating on the negative points we just tend to make things worse...things can always get better and there is something positive even in the worst situations!

One of my closest friends wrote a status recently:
"Some1 asked me the other day if my glass ws half empty or half full. I ws going to say it's empty, but that's not completely true. My life isn't void and I hve my happy moments; bt they usually just seem to disappear.So,my glass is cracked.Yes,cracked. It gets filled up with happiness and hope, but it always ends up escaping my grasp. It alwys ends up emptying out. It will never b full becoz it's always leaking"

I just want to tell her that u still have a glass! And even if its never'l never be empty either! :)

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Beginning of a new chapter

"Having left the dependency of childhood and adolescence, and having not yet entered the enduring responsibilities that are normative in adulthood, emerging adults often explore a variety of possible life directions in love, work, and worldviews." Jeffrey Arnett

School to to university! As kids these used to sound so exciting and we couldn't wait to grow up but when u'r really there u cant help asking growing up really all that exciting?? we normally take it for granted that as things will evolve we will change and adapt automatically but is it that easy?? A lot of emphasis is always laid on adolescence as being a sensitive and difficult phase but what about the emerging adulthood phase? Not much talked about but certainly as critical! At this point in life it really feels like a huge responsibility that u have towards yourself! I truly am having sleepless nights thinking and rethinking about the future as things have never been so uncertain. The feeling that what you do now will probably shape your whole life is pretty scary and more so when you choose to differ from everyone else in the same situation as you are. This summarises how i have been feeling lately but there is a different side to the story...

A new phase of life where you feel that your life is in your own hands and you can mold it can be a wonderful feeling. True that i could keep on thinking about the future, try to picture myself 5 years down the line and freak out when i realise how blurred it is but why torture myself anymore! Slowly i am learning to understand that being different from everyone else is not necessarily just means that you are taking a different route...probably a less taken one but who said everyone has to go the same way and have similar destinations...

So to everyone facing this kind of situation...happy journey :)